I am a girl who makes excuses for being the person that I am, thinking that one day maybe I will be different. I am a girl that is learning to let go of these excuses and realize that this is the person that I am… acceptance or not. After having a conversation with my sister, I am a girl who is inspired to learn about me, by writing a little of me out on paper.
I am a girl who has discovered that my house will never be sparkling clean… maybe not even clean, and am learning to be ok with that. I am a girl who has lost my depth to feel and converse… and want to get it back. I am a girl who has tasted that lost depth by having beautiful, inspiring, uplifting, and meaningful conversations with my sisters. I am a girl who loves knowledge and believes that I am shorting myself, and those that need me if I don’t have that power. I am a girl who is afraid that I am not smart enough for my son. I am a girl who is not the best speller in the world and am very self-conscious of this. I am a girl who does not want to lose my career but is afraid to go back.
I am a girl who absolutely loves Chick-fil-A and spent the night in the parking lot to receive a box of free coupons for a year. I am a girl who strives to be better to the earth, but am transitioning very slow. I am a girl who loves to be inspired! I am a girl who admires my family and friends for all of their uniqueness. I am a girl who just realized that mailpersons drive on the right side of their vehicle. I am a girl who loves to drive with my music blaring and the windows down. I am a girl who loves music that pulls at my heart and hits me deep. I am a girl who my never be completely organized…. But has advanced in the last couple of years. I am a girl who admires a woman who manages to put herself together every morning but realizes this will never be me!
I am a girl whose worst nightmare would be my family moving away. I am a girl who feels with all my heart but can’t always find the words to express those feelings. I am a girl who absolutely adores my son and can’t imagine life without him. I am a girl who is slightly germaphobic but learning to lighten up. I am a girl who has always loved to travel but has found that my favorite place is home. I am a girl who believes that I can do anything that I set my mind to doing. I am a girl who respects the friendships that I have but have a fear of not being enough for those people. I am a girl who has never, never, never liked lettuce! I am a girl who will always have a messy car and will always feel the need to apologize. I am a girl who is in love with my husband and extremely happy with our life together. I am a girl who does not always stand up for myself and am learning to be better. I am a girl who is learning I am ME.
11 comments:
YOU ARE BRITTNI!!! THAT IS WHO WE KNOW AND LOVE.
sitting here with tears running down my face and into my lap..... and laughing out loud...this was so beautiful brittni....absolutely to the core! you were able to "converse" here beautifully...
i love it....bee.....and you....for what you are and where you are going and what you will be!
xo,
your mamacita
You are amazing...and so perfectly YOU. There isn't another soul quite like yours and I feel quite lucky that I get to travel this road of life with you as one of my companions. Our talks lately have really filled me up too!
Thank you for offering so many parts of who you are. Keep shining and keep sharing because all of it, every single bit, is beautiful.
What everyone else has said is totally true. You are you and we love YOU! What you wrote was so pure and honest, I admire that. You make me laugh, cry, think and love deeply. I love that I can call you a dear friend.
My dear sweet Brittni ~ I am crying and laughing out loud all at the same time! WOW...I don't think I could have written such a beauitful poem about who I am. All of these things make you YOU and YOU are who we ALL LOVE!!!! Most things you mentioned I "knew" about you...some I didn't and I will be more tender with those things in the future. We all are just doing the best that we can and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the conversations we've had lately and for the immense amount of knowledge you have shared with me. I have learned so much from you...I think you don't give yourself enough credit. :) You ARE smart enough, you ARE good enough and doggonit...people LOVE you to pieces!! :)I'm just one of them!
brittni, i love you so much. i am crying over reading this ...you are funny and beautiful in every possible way. it is amazing that we all have so many insecurities in this life...that we all have moments of terror and doubt and fear that we are not "good enough" and yet, being imperfect is what makes us human. i love that you are trying to accept yourself for EVERYTHING that you ARE!!!! you are a light that shines so bright and i love you.
I really want to make a comment to this post, but I almost feel too insignificant (if that's the right word). When I think of "Brittni" I think of the girl I knew in elementary school and Jr. High...my best friend through those crazy years. But it's the imprint you left on my life from all those times we shared together that keeps me coming back to your blog to learn about the "Brittni" of these days. The woman you've become and all that you have to share with the world today. And this post alone shows what an incredible person you are. You know who you are and you know what you want to become. From the small snippets I get to see in your life, I can feel the love you have for your family, your son, your life. And I believe it's all that love that we surround ourselves with that keeps us going, keeps us learning, and keeps us on the path to always be better and just love ourselves for the life we are leading. You are one fabulous person Brittni!
Brittni, You are a girl with a big loving, caring heart but...I really, really think you should work on that lettuce thing!!!
I have read this many times,and every time it brings tears to my eyes. You are amazing!! I am glad we made a pack to be friends forever in 11th grade:0) I could not imagine my life without you in it. Thanks for sharing
Love you
mandy
Brittni ... with all the "love" in your life sometimes it is hard to feel that you fit in - but there is no other perfect measure of a person than those around her. What a blessing and miracle you are to all of us! I admire and love you dearly. :)
Brittni- I linked to your blog from Cory's and I found myself crying, well actually balling after reading what you wrote. It really touched me. I am a girl who could never write like that. But maybe I will practice.... Thank you so much for making my entire day. By the way this is Lindsey- Nick's wife, Matt's cousin. I think you know who I am but even if you don't what I read just touched my soul. Thank you.
Lindsey Nelson
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